this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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