It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The best revenge is premature balding
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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