nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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