Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize