Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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