How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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