i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
