I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
