If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
