is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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