Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
