Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
