Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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