Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
