If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
