How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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