the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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