Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
