Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
