I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize