i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.