i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.