How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I love having hate sex.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...