I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.