Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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