Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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