but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
