3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
