you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
