I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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