I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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