Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
