Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
