omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
