Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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