he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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