If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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