it was like eating out sand paper
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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