wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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