it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i think i just lost a toe
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