That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
