only if we run a train.
done.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
