it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize