My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
