I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
