Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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