If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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