What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
