I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
