Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
