The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
