what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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