Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
