; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
