He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
