We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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