everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
