I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
