I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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