My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
