he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
