dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
