Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
