I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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