Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
