sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
