you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
