Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
