I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Randomize
